All creatures great and small

Well, my birthday started in the pooest way possible – being woken by the bin men at 6.30am. So after much grumbling we got up and I spoke to my folks and Tasha’ folks – Ben howled “Happy Birthday” to me. Then it was present time – thanks to all who risked the notorious Aussie post and sent stuff out (to every one else I’ll pick ‘em up when we get back home :) I’ve now finally got a real pair of Oakleys but not the usual looking ones, more of a squarer, college geek style. Then it was cereal with chocolate milk whilst listening to some tunes, we even had a little dance to Kenny & Dolly.

Then we jumped onto a harbour ferry to cross over to Luna Park. All the rides were closed as it’s more of a permanent evening fun fair, but it was more to see the entrance, which Debbie (Tash’s mum for those not in the know) can just about remember visiting when she lived in Oz in the mid 60s.

Next stop was Taronga Zoological Park. I thought we were going cos anyone visiting on their birthday gets in for 90 cents but my luvlee laydee surprised me with the best thing ever (stop sniggering) - I got to have a guided tour of the indigenous animals and play keeper for the afternoon. It’s impossible to say how ace this was, particularly as they take round groups of 8 people but it was only us today so I didn’t have to share keeping duties with snotty oiks. We started off with this wicked little wallaby that let me feed and pet her, and then I also got to feed an emu too. I would’ve tried for a Rod Hull style pose, but real emus don’t take kindly to being cuddled, let alone having an arm shoved up their arse. Then we moved on to some koalas who basically spend most of their lives chilling out – they can sleep for up to 20 hours a day. Maybe a distant relative of DJ? These were so cute. They don’t really like being handled but I got to stroke them and have some photos taken. Swiftly on, we got to the echidnas, weird marsupial-type-anteater things with really hard spines. They reminded me of the haircuts on the hoverboard louts in Highlander 2, but I doubt anyone else has seen it.

Next it was the nocturnal critters, of which the first was the platypus. He was a lot smaller than expected but totally amazing – apparently when the first samples were taken to England all the scientists thought it was a joke and it was lots of bits of dead animals stuck together. We had a short stop off at the main food prep area and got to try some of the delicacies. That may sound gross but the nectar substitute they use wasn’t bad, despite being full of sugar & honey (but you still can’t beat a nice Bonio). Then the best bit of the day ever – I got to go into the cabinet for the gliding squirrels and feed them. One of them was particularly taken with me and kept hiding in my hoodie. When our guide, also called Natacha (but spelt wrong), tried to remove said flying rodent it had a go back and bit her. This went on for a bit but it was so cool to have this little furball so close. Tasha even joined me to feed peanuts to the potoroos, which are like friendly, hopping guinea pigs.

We got to go over with a wombat too. She’d been orphaned when her mother was hit by a car, with the little wombat still in the pouch :( So as she’s been hand reared she was totally showing off, although we couldn’t pet her in case instinct kicked in and she bit us. Wombats eat all kinds of hard foods so we could’ve lost some fingers. Last bit of the tour was to the roos. Unfortunately we couldn’t go into their enclosures as they’re so ridiculously strong. Most are hand reared so think nothing of trying to play fight with humans but they have little comprehension of how strong they really are. Plus the males are about 7 foot tall. There was also a wickedly stripy tree kanga who had gigantic balls. He definitely was the daddy!

To round the day off, Tash made me some excellent bacon & mozzarella burgers and chocolate & marshmallow brownie cake. I’ve also had my first booze since I left England – predictably some cider and a bit of bourbon & ginger.

All in all, it’s been a good was to spend my day. Missing friends & family, but I couldn’t have wished for a better birthday, so special thanks to my laydee – Tasha, I love you xxxx